For the first time ever this morning, I got to pack up BOTH girls, drop them at VBS and return to an empty home with just the sweet sweet sound of rain to keep me company! (True the rain wasn’t quite so sweet when I was trying to somehow hold the umbrella over all 3 of us on the way to the car earlier, while making lame attempts to avoid the worst of the puddles…but bygones and such, now the rain is just a peaceful sound and I can forget this morning’s craziness.)
I vowed to take the opportunity this morning not to tackle my huge to-do list, but just relax and enjoy some super rare me-time. Starting with iced coffee! 😀
Then I picked up this beautiful book that I borrowed from a friend in January and shamefully haven’t finished yet. And as I got teary eyed while reading it, I remembered why. It’s not the kind of book I want to read on the couch at night while Misteris plays computer games next to me…the soundtrack of gunshots and monsters screaming really detracts from the honesty and openness and relatability.
When I started the book, we’d lost our 3rd baby to a miscarriage a few months before, and had been trying but failing to get pregnant again…I read in the chapter about Abraham and Sarah:
“Pregnancy! Blood. Anguish.
A few short words, and yet they spoke to me deeply. I felt like what I’d been hearing was…
“Miscarriage. Cherish the kids you DO have. Count your blessings.
Today I read the chapter on Job. And I was incredibly thrilled to read her comment, “I avoid the book of Job like the plague.” I rejoiced, because I feel the same way…but it seems like people tend to say things like “Oh, what a beautiful, deep, book!”
And then, wouldn’t you know, the chapter was really beautiful, and deep, lol. And it reminded me of one of the greatest conversations I’ve ever had with a friend. Are you ready for this?
Me: “I’m angry at God.” Jenn: “That’s ok.”
That’s it. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. Mostly I guess I just wanted to write in the peace and quiet. So have a great day, I’m going to grab more coffee and get back to my book now before it’s time to go pick up the girls and pretend that I’m just taking them to VBS for their sake so they can have a fun week and learn some stuff about God or something! 😉